Research School Network: Empathy – How to meet parents halfway The first in a series of blogs focusing on improving parental engagement to behaviour written by guest blogger, Jenefer Walker.

Somewhere between 75% and 85% of a child’s waking hours are spent outside of school. Therefore, engaging with parents, carers and guardians is integral to the success of a school as a central contributing factor in our school culture.

Parental engagement approaches have been evaluated by the EEF in 10 countries around the world with broadly similar findings in 97 studies, as of July 2021. Its research on parental engagement has a broad focus and continued interest in evaluating projects that support the home learning environment. Whilst a clear causal link between parental engagement and achievement has been established, types of involvement or school-initiated strategies have not. Based on extensive evidence, the EEF toolkit suggests that parental engagement has a moderate impact for very low cost and yields +4 months of progress. The greatest cost perhaps is ongoing training for staff, materials, resources and additional staff time.

Parents play a critical role in developing the personal potential of their child. Self-regulation, empathy and resilience are cited in research as being the three characteristics that develop successful and confident learners. Parents shape their child’s foundations and ​‘life’s building blocks’ in the first five years, highlighted by the Princess of Wales’ Shaping Up project on promoting the significance of early years’ language, social, cognitive and emotional development. Moreover, many mental health experts believe the first seven years of life are what shape us for the rest of our lives.

Being in tune with our parents is crucial in the development of positive, supportive relationships. It is useful here to reflect on the role of personalities when forming relationships and which member of staff may be the most suitable for approaching certain caregivers. To this effect, there is a significant body of research (also see Ackerman, for example) supporting the core Big 5 personalities, which I have summarised here:

Having a great deal of empathy makes you concerned for the well-being and happiness of others. When children feel emotionally secure and connected to their parents, they are more likely to develop a positive sense of self and have better emotional regulation skills, of which empathy is a key driver of prosocial behaviour. Having a positive attitude to learning will encourage excellent behaviour for learning habits and resilience. The ​‘can-do’ attitude, where mistakes in learning are supported, is indicative of a school adopting a ​‘Growth Mindset’. 

Many factors can positively or negatively affect a parent’s perspective of school. As school leaders, we should seek to understand this because their lived experience and attitudes towards education influence the home environment and emotional support of children.

There are a range of varied potential barriers to parents working positively with schools. Some of these are listed for consideration below: 

• The parent themselves may have had a poor lived experience of education
• Poor mental health
• The child does not want their parent involved
• Perception of receiving only negative communication from the school
• Negative situation in their child’s previous school history
• Lack of familiarity with the school 
• Transport issues to the setting
• Values and beliefs surrounding formal education in a school setting

The EEF’s guidance report focused on working more effectively with parents to support children’s learning identifies four key strategies to focus on. Recommendation 1 asks us to critically review the work that we are doing with parents to better understand our strengths and weaknesses. Evaluating the work that we do against the areas above, for example, might be a good starting point. 

Recommendation of the same report asks us to think carefully about how we tailor our communications to encourage a more positive dialogue with school. Empathy is one of the factors which we can consider how we include parents in a positive dialogue with the school. 

So, what strategies can we explore to bring parents on-board in a more empathetic way as a key stakeholder? The short answer is by removing barriers and creating a sustained effort over an extended period of time. This ties in with Recommendation 4 of the guidance report which discusses the importance of an offer which is more intensive and sustained in nature. 

• Actively listening to their views
• Offer short sessions within, and outside of the school day
• Have a flexible approach, especially for working parents
  
• Set up remote sessions
• A fully resourced pastoral support team who can take a call at any time
• Well-organised transition practice between phases and Key Stages
• Timely, concise communication
• Clear language devoid of ​‘educational jargon’

Another important consideration is our careful use of language which is imperative for demonstrating an empathetic approach with positive intentions. Connecting with families proactively on sensitive pastoral matters like attendance and SEND reassures families that you genuinely care for their child’s welfare. Listen with openness, be understanding in your response and provide realistic feedback on what can be delivered within a particular time scale. Remember to provide CPD for staff on holding positive conversations with home, possibly providing scripted conversations or a list of key sentences for their selection as a conversation evolves organically.

In conclusion to this first blog, having a great deal of empathy makes you concerned for the well-being and happiness of others. How we, as school leaders, demonstrate empathy towards a range of parents with a range of barriers and perceptions comes down to our emotional intelligence and commitment to inclusion, particularly towards marginalised groups at risk of stigmatisation. What engages one parent, or group of parents, will not engage others, thereby emphasising the need to flex our leadership style to deliver the intended outcome with fidelity. Ultimately, school culture is defined by creating a shared understanding and identity around a common set of values and expectations. To do this effectively, school leaders rely on open, transparent communication and decision-making processes, of which empathy is a powerful strategy in our toolkit to encourage positive home-school relationships.

To find out more visit: 

Van Poortlviet, M., Axford, N. and Lloyd, J., 2018. Working with parents to support children’s learning: guidance report.

Costa, P.T. and McCrae, R.R., 1999. A five-factor theory of personality. Handbook of personality: Theory and research, 2(01), p.1999.

Ackerman, C. (2017, June 23). Big Five Personality Traits: The OCEAN Model Explained. PositivePsychology.com.

Review your engagement with parents as part of the Recommendation one in the EEF’s revised implementation guidance: Sharples, J., Eaton, J. and Boughelaf, J., 2024. A School’s Guide to Implementation. Guidance Report. Education Endowment Foundation.

This blog was written by Evidence Advocate, Jenefer Walker, Assistant Headteacher at Cheslyn Hay Academy.